Sunday, April 28, 2013

How to deal with JEALOUSY in a relationship

Sometimes couples argue.
Results whether they become closer or they give up on the relationship.

i'm not an expert in love but i will share some things about my relationship.

my boyfie is elder than me 6 years. my friends asked me if i have topics to talk with him. well, age is just a number. to me, if you love a person, you will have much more things to talk than with other people. it's like when you're close to someone, you will have much more things to talk than with a person that you just met.

due to our age, we do have many things not in common. for example, you can't expect a person at the age of above 25 to spend time with you everyday go out to play with you or spend time to do romantic things for you. i think that romantic things will only happen for once or twice in a lifetime. so, can't expect much.

at his age, it's the stage of building career and thinking about future; no time for playing games or whatever. (i should think about his feelings and understand why he did not do romantic things for me before this because in my age, my friends all around me have their boyfriends doing romantic things for them >< so, sure envy lar)

i'm 21 this year, so, i'm at the stage of playing, fooling around and go for more excitement if you all agree hehe but after all the arguments, i should think more maturely especially if you have a more mature partner.

How to deal with jealousy in a relationship?

well, i admit i'm jealous whenever my boyfie went out with his friends without bringing me along 'cause all along he brings me out with his friends but once he didn't, i will get jealous.. probably 'cause after being with him, my world is like more a person. Do you feel that way too?

when some girls jealous, they might think that they should do something to make their boyfriends to jealous back but that is a no no. you know the consequences.

A misunderstanding jealousy is always acceptable but an irrational jealousy isn't.

although jealousy in a relationship is not a bad thing, but no one chooses to be jealous in a relationship all the time. It's always lack of communication and misunderstanding that leads to jealousy.

1) learn to trust your partner. your partner is not going to stop loving you by just talking to someone attractive.

2) be rational and don't let the green eyed monster control over you.

3) confront jealousy and overcoming it.

4) listen to what your partner has to say. this way, you know what they are thinking. (guys, give her your attention)

5) communicate and understand. (guys, what seems like nonsense to you could mean a lot to your partner when they are hurt and want your reassurance)




Jealousy can be cute if it's experienced in moderation,
but anything beyond that can affect your relationship negatively.
So, learn to deal with jealousy!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

If you FORGIVE others, you FORGIVE yourself.

so much of conflicts happened these days. however, i choose to forgive..

last night i went to a Christian event held in Grand Kampar Hotel.. i was really excited when i knew about the event. 'cause i felt like i've been spending so much time for myself and friends and boyfie but did not spare some time to get near to God. i felt like the relationship between me and God have really gone farer.. yea.. relationship.. people might think that being a Christian is a religion but the truth is that you are bonding a relationship between yourself with Father God.

i attend the event with Trinie (sis) and reached there about 7.45pm.. i can really feel a deep touch within my heart the moment i stepped into the ballroom where they held the event.. i feel God's presence and tears are flowing down my cheeks non stop...

i believe that He's real because i really experienced His help for so many times already and NOT like what other people say that i believe is because i'm brain-washed.

i still remember that a pastor who gave a talk last night said that we should forgive. He talked about his experience about how stubborn he was that he did not forgive someone from his past for 3 years. After 3 years, he finally let go.
He said, "When you don't forgive someone, it's like you are holding a knife; hold onto the sharp place. The more anger you have, the tighter you are holding the knife and the more hurt you are, the more blood you bleed. Imagine if you hate someone for 3 years and you are holding the knife hurting yourself and bleeding for 3 years. It's enough. Why don't you forgive and let go the knife?"



So, i was recently having too much of conflicts and i normally forgive but when if the person that mean so much to you hurt you again and again, how to forgive? In the end when i calm down, i think about the problem again. It was actually a small matter and so i forgive. However, what has been done by that person to hurt you, has been done. Probably i won't care too much about that person and don't want to be too close with that person anymore.




Finally i think about my best friend again. No one can ever replace her in my heart. She's my best friend since Standard 1 and until now and forever. 


When you take someone close to you for granted,
they get hurt, tired and leave.
And nothing will back to the same way as how it always had.
Appreciate, don't depreciate.