nothing special... just feel free to write something....

at last i have a christian name.. - Rachel... weird?? hihihi...

my friends give idea and at last they agree for me to have this name as my christian name... lolx... big project huh??

anyway... don't know why this year i start to emo emo emo.. maybe this is because as we grow older, more problems we have to face... i feel my life is happier in my younger years till this year i turn to a totally quiet and less communicate with friends... many of my friends say that too, asking why i'm so serious and not as playful or crazy as last year like that...

i miss the old meeeee.... i hope i can turn back time but if time can turn back, i guess we will never know what our future would be like... time is precious and life is short... i'll appreciate the things i'm having right now and i hope everyone will do too.. although i now this phrase is quite outdated or bored that people always listen it... but if we really been through that feeling of losing someone, this phrase will forever stated to be not as common as we always hear...


below are the pictures of my family...

me and my elder sis... she went to kl to study...



me and my younger sis...



my elder sis with my dad... both acting cute... aikx..

yesterday was a tired day...

yesterday jack, chris, jean and me went to play badminton in stadium there... that chris really clever.. book the court from 1 till 5 le.. play till the muscle also pain already... today walk also no strength...

from morning i take bus go 1st garden there to go eat breakfast with jean but at last we just walk around and chat... then we go stadium there met jack and chris... after playing badminton about an hour, we go out 'yum cha' in the food court there... chris really crazy le... he drink 3 glasses don't what tea... after finished drinking not enough 5 minutes, he wanted to order the same drink again... lolx... after half hour or 40 mintues, we went back into the court to continue play badminton... after that, jean, jack and me walk to the bus stop.. at that time, the sky was raining... me and jen took bus back to 1st garden.. then we had our dinner in 'siew kee' there... stilll the sky raining heavily... i reached home about 7 something... then my family all went out and me alone at home... so tired...

bout me and my bestest friend...

i have a lot of best friends.. but only one i call as my bestest friend.. i know that's not the correct english word but just want to make it special... hihihi... she 's jeannie... my best friend since i was standard 1.. we always have fun together... we really had some hard times and lots of fun childhood memories!!! we had done before dumb but cute things while we're younger.. i always bully her... lolx... i guess if she read this, she'll think bac what i mean... haha... erm... i'll never forget that we borrowed the net from the science lab and took it to the 'big longkang' that we usually see in the streets and catch fishes.. i know that is dirty but for fun we climb down to the 'longkang' to catch and play with the fishes... the net that we 'borrowed' was flushed away.. never seen it back.. lolx... and we stayback at school to walk to the playground near our school... that was really fun!! i missed my choral speaking practice many times and caught by the teacher to see the school principal but i still don't care... erm.. many more childhood memories that i can't finish sharing them...

then.. when i was about form 2 i always ponteng tuition... i don't wanna tell you how many times or maybe how many months i didn't go for that tuition... hmm... but now i grow up, i can think more maturely and will never do that again.. i remember i play truant not going tuition and went to hang out with friends... (warning: don't try this kids.. cz that's a very damn childish thing to do..)

wanna share the photos during the moments; me with jean..














hope we're bestest friends forever... ^^

michael share this song with me...

michael share this song with me...
i bet you'll love it... there's a story behind this song..
it's that a girl whose not a singer but she really likes to sing and write songs.. this song she wrote before she went to suicide... she wrote it for her boyfriend... it's a true story i heard... but no one knows what's the truth and why it happened... listen the song... the song is on the right of my blog...

最后一次~~~17岁女孩自身创作

* 在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前

我想对你说 我爱你

在你怀里 舍不得放弃

心里有千万语想说给你听

我使尽全力 我想闭上眼睛

正是告别总不能再相遇

不能再陪你 但不要忘记

你曾经答应我 你会好好活下去

先走了 去了好远的地方

不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮

许多回忆过去却并不容易

生死由天决定 不要太伤心

*

我永远爱你..

want to share bout the day on last monday...

haha... i forgot to write a blog on last monday (18/8/08)... in the afternoon i was quite busy cleaning my room until at night i finally having fun with my friends (some from johor) and cousins in a church in caning garden there.. i met bryan.. he's a friend from johor there... drumer.. he and his church members came to ipoh to do some concert on worshipping God... then they tour to setiawan the next day... after every finish that night, i talk and chat with bryan... he's quite friendly but the problem is... i'm not good in speaking mandarin!! aikx... embarassed many times.. haha.. he asked me question and i blanked there... then he just laugh... haiz.. kaka... then suddenly my aunt came to talk with me a while.. bryan heard i speak cantonese with my aunt then only he knew that i don't speak mandarin but speak in cantonese... aikx.. after that i tell bryan to chat next time cause he's quite busy with some friends there...

after reached home.. he sms me and asked me why i don't speak cantonese with him... OMG... i thought he don't know how to speak cantonese that's why i only speak mandarin with him... so 'san fu' la... cause he speaks mandarin so fast that my ears could hardly hear what he is saying... haha... then he said he actually wanted to speak cantonese with me but i left already... lolx... 'gek sei'... it'd ok cause i'm glad to see him that night... if i don't seee him that day i guess i have to wait till next year i go johor only can meet him...

i really happy that i went to that concert that day... i really enjoyed... i felt like i'm back to the days i went to johor... miss the days... miss eunice's voice... haha.. shaked hands with her in the lobby there... everyone cried after being touched by God... really happy and unforgettable memories there... here are some pictures i went to johor before this (this year)...>>

our journey to the johor... haha.. tammy there with peace sign.. ^^











having breakfast in the middle of the journey to johor... i remember that my voice totally in a bad condition.. then i can't really sing for the competition in the johor there.. aikx...






the stage... i like the background..









take this pic in the hoetel... we're having breakfast... happy happy ~lalala







having McD for lunch... ^^









i look really bad in this pic... lolx.. but i like this pic...












i learn many things during my trip to johor there... meet new friends and learn about loving God and family.. i appreciate the things most is i get to enjoy with my cousins cause all along i never get the chance to get along with them... thanks God for all this happening...

i love God forever!!! T.T

walk gai gai with mic.. ma bro.. lolx

today go parade with my bro le... nothing to do then eat ice kacang there and chat...
we walked into skymex and talk bout the teddy bears... so big and feel want to hug the bear bear... haha... then walk till a gift shop (forget the name of the shop liao... lolx), many emotions cushion there... feel like want to sleep on the thing... but the cushion costs rm20++.. aikx...



quite happy today cz can chat with him the things he never tell me before and share share stories le... then i went back liao.. pity him... his motor... aikx... so sorry bro... but you so rich, pay rm40 not a prob for you le... ngek ngek ngek...

see you bro again next monday le... take care... ^^ smile always...

hmm...

so sorry yit li (my cousin) that i can't accompany you go shopping... i guess you found the thing you wanna buy liao gua...

pity jack today.. go gathering alone... tq me la i accompany him chat.. ngek ngek ngek..

erm... not much happening today.. i'll make my blog short for today...

oh ya... one more thing... just wanna say good luck to lee chong wei.. hope he'll win gold medal in the olympic champion 2008 thing... although i won't get anything even though if he wins.. hahaha...
~Chong Wei, Good Luck!!!~
i guess i write or not also doesn't make any difference... cause he doesn't know.. T.T

haha... bye ^^

mood turns better after hanging out with my friends today.. ^^

actually i'm not in a good mood this morning after arguing with my mom... just because of a stupid thing... but it's ok... after tuition today i go hang out with my friends in parade.. actually thought of going for a movie with jackson... but no movie then we change our plan go kbox there to 'kacau and da jiu fu' with my friends there (sam, chris and zhi weng and others from batu gajah i do not know). then that jackson, pity him... a girl catch him go to a kbox room.. i guess he get himself raped by the girls inside there... muahaha... i met gatzat there with ccy... hmm... gat zat not very happy today but i guess she'll be fine now... hope she's ok... thought of going to play bowling but fully booked.. haih.. at last we all (chris, jack, sam, chun sing and me) go yum cha... then chat lo... so happy that time 'cause can bully that sam... become victim to make me happy... muahaha...oh ya... forget to thank chris for the present... thankx chris!!

erm... sorry mic.. cause can't hang out with you and ken today.. between me and my mom i still can hold on to it... cause i already use to it... anyway... miss you and ken very much!! muackzzz.. ^x^ hihihi...

love all of you... hope we're friends till old... ^^

disappointed with my exam results...

thank God still i'm pass in my exams... today i took my physics paper, chemistry, english and math.. i really shock to see the marks cz i quite work hard in this time exam...i nvr thought i'll get this low... but it's ok that i'm still pass...i'll work harder and appreciate time to study for my final exam...

i have this friend.. to her: if u're reading my blog here... i support u to stop ur job in twins net there... there's a few reasons why i support u to stop...
1st- the salary is quite low.. if the salary is low then why waste ur time go there work where u actually can use the time to study for ur exam..
2nd- u'll feel more stress and tired.. u can't push urself working there.. u'll get very sick later and less time for u to rest...
3rd- the things there is quite hard to handle.. make u feel more stress...
4th- u're still young and u should spend ur time now like any other teen...
5th- me and the gang very worry about u...
6th- u spend more time on working than hanging out with us...
7th- u alr have another work with salary quite high and i asked u whether is it enough for u to use.. u said yes... but of course if u use the money on shopping of course it's not enough le.. but now u're still studying... if u want to earn money for shopping then november holidays that time u can work more than a job... rite??

about my another guy friend.. i hope he understand that between friends, there is no who is higher or lower level in the friendships.. i care bout him like any others do... same level... no one is higher or lower... why u always think that i care them more than u?? i care bout u too but u didn't really realise... when u tell me that u're not important to us and we didn't really care about u, i feel like really want to slap u... slap u till u wake up... hello?? what are friends for?? of course is to care about each other and be there for u whenever u need them... if i don't care u, then i won't call u as my friend la... u don't always 'merajuk' la.. u always say that i have problem will only share with jackand chris... that's because coincidently they're there for me and chatting with me at the same time... now i don't really have any major problems then how am i going to tell u i have problems?? if u want me to tell u my past problems i really won't repeat what had happen... cz i didn't want to think back those sad problems?? if u're my best friend then u should understand me la... don't always say till i 'pilih kasih' only share my probs and hang out with them only... don't u even think that... i'm always fair and square... lolx.. but that's true i should admit.. hope u don't angry my another best friend and say like i'm more to his side than yours...

if there's anything bad things to tell between our this chicken family (eugene, jack, chris, jean and me) , i just have to listen and only trust that he or she is this kind of person till i see it with my own eyes and listen with my own ears... i never want any misunderstanding happen between this chicken family..
without this chicken family i guess i've fall down deep and struggling for help... this family is like reaching out a hand for me and making me feel that life is happier... last time, i actually never thought that i'll meet this chicken family in my future.. i love u guys so much... i know i'm very 'cheong hei' sorry... just wanna write what i'm thinking and feeling these days... bluek xp

and not to forget... i love God too... (^^,) buay buay..

tired...

today i feel so tired.. i'm quite relief cz i've finish my exam... although it's just a monthly test but still i feel it's important...
my dad today pick me up at 2.30 bt i'm suppose to be back at home at 1pm... i've waited him for so long but he didn't even say sry and blaming me giving him stress and burden and bla bla bla... if he can't pick me up on time why don't he tell me 1st in the morning so that i won't be wasting my time waiting him... so that i can go library to have a nap... i already feel so tired.. standing there waiting for so long... so many mosquitoes some more and the sun so hot... my bag so heavy and i'm so sleepy that time... still i' standing there waiting for him to come and pick me up... i afraid if i go into the canteen and wait, i can't see him he can't c me, then he'll leave me in school... i thought that i can go home early today and quickly go back home rest... never thought i'll be much more tired today... i can't blame him that i'm always a burden to him... cz that's the truth i know... if he leave us and go singapore work in his early days i guess he won't be suffering now to earn hard-earn money like now.. actually i told my mom to call my dad that i'm going to finish school at 1pm at about 10 smth in the morning like that.. she say ok and she'll call... then until the time i waited my dad after school i call her again... i really angry she always don't want answer my phone calls.. but i really do understand that she's working and not suitable to answer any phone calls but if any emergency we need to contact her then how??? ok lo... nevermind that she can't answer her hp calls then i call her office... a person working there answer the call and saying that my mom she have attended a meeting and busy with some appointment and stuff... i understand that she's working so i can't really blame her... i just wanna call to know that whether she had call my dad to pik me up or not... i scare she forgotten to call him and i have to wait in school til they realise that i'm nt at home yet i guess.. i call the house phone no one answer... i call my dad number he say i'm not patient enough to wait him to answer the call... but i've waited so long for you to answer and i call many times until the voice message... there's still many people waiting for me to make their own calls... i can't be slow just to call them to pick me up...i called many numbers and not even a person pick it up... then i cried sitting alone in the canteen... i cried not because no one picking me back home... it's because probably i'm having stress for the test and my mood is not too good at that time... at last my dad reach the school to fetch me back... he scolded me and ask why i didn't answer his call when he calls me... what the... i'm in school la... he thought i'm in tuition ar?? how can i bring hp to school... or even on my phone?? i really can't stand anymore what he say cz the things he said really feel like stabbing my heart... he always say the things that are very hurt but he didn't know... he always say that i talk the things never use the brain then what about him?? do he mean that the words he saying that are hurt, he used the brain to think then only he said them out?? i know he hates church very very much but he can't stop me from loving God can't stop me from loving Jesus... he said that my sin is all he suffer... i know he always suffer to take care of this family... but he can't say that Jesus wrong... OMG... i cant really repeat what he said anymore... even he say me hore or prostitute i don't care but he can't say Jesus do things wrong... he have no right to say that... i already didn't care that he separates me with my relatives on his side but he really too over doing it... i didn't even have the real chance to be close with the family on that side... i didn't even get a real chance to get to know them... i know it's all my fault that you so unhappy but i don't know what i can do to make you forgive them... life is short... why don't think far? i still have a lot to tell about myself but time doen't really allow me... i hope my dad won't wait till i really try to kill myself only he'll back to the path i really want him to go... i want him to trusy God with all his heart and not with full of hate... i hope God will forgive him although he really have did some things that are wrong... he become like that really have to blame me the first cz in this world, without me i guess his life won't be like this so suffer and tired.... i hope someone will leave some comment and tell me what to do next... hmm.. anyway... life is meaningless if we always this sad... so i'll try my best to be happy...

i don't want to hurt you... i hope we are best friends forever... ^^
i really happy when we spend time together.. u always make me happy...
i'll never forget all of us having happy memories together..

<< sam (not in da pic), chris ( callin 4 sam where da direction he's lookin at), jack, jean n me ~hugs~ them tight tight... muaxxx.. love u guys forever... here's a video i capture in mc school toilet.. we playing water there.. vy enjoying.. lolx..